


I can't believe, not anymore. there’s nothing left to believe in.

by osseous_matter



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22887013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osseous_matter/pseuds/osseous_matter
Summary: Loki comes and have a nice brother chat with Thor, and there's bonding and all that jazz.
Relationships: Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39
Collections: Loki, Marvel





	I can't believe, not anymore. there’s nothing left to believe in.

He sat there, in the middle of the bed, fiddling with what looked to be a thin bracelet. He didn’t look up at the sound of the door opening. He didn’t look up when he heard his brother’s loud and rather obnoxious laugh. He didn’t look up when that laugh suddenly stopped and the door shut.

“What are  _ you _ doing here? What trouble have you conjured up now?” Thor asked in a low growl. 

Loki smiled slightly. What had he expected? Of course Thor would treat him like some…

_ Criminal.  _

That’s what he was after all. He shouldn't have expected anything more. Shouldn’t have wanted anything more.

A few more moments passed before Loki realized he hadn’t replied. He opened his mouth to do so before closing it again. There wasn’t a response. He didn’t really have one. 

“What do you have in your hand?” Thor asked, his voice noticeably genteler. 

Loki held out the bracelet for his brother to inspect. It was a thin gold circle with a small white gem, “It was Mother's,” Loki explained quietly.

“Was?”

“Surrounded by all the other pieces of jewelry she has, this one has been forgotten for quite some time,” there was a small pause before he continued. His voice became almost a whisper, “I made it for her when I was younger.”

“Oh, I’m sure she-”

“Sure she loves it?” Loki took the bracelet and put it on his wrist. It disappeared behind the layers of black and green the trickster god had covered himself in, “Yes. She would say the same if she were in the room. I don’t doubt that before it was forgotten, she loved it dearly. Does that not sound like the story of someone you know?”

“Brother, no one has forgotten you.”

“I’ve forgotten myself.”

Silence settled between the two. Thor couldn’t disagree because what was said, was the truth. 

The Odinson, the  _ one true _ Odinson, took a seat next to the one he called brother.

And they sat in silence. A silence riddled with guilt that almost choked the air from Loki’s lungs. A silence filled with pity for a wayward sibling, hopefully looking to find their way again. A silence that made Thor feel awful for being unable to break. A silence that made whatever feelings Loki was trying to express fester under his skin and burn.

He was tired of burning.

He was tired of harboring every awful feeling within himself and not letting them go. He was tired of trying and failing to be better, or worse. He was tired of trying and failing to be  _ anything _ that wasn’t  _ him _ . Anything that wasn’t ‘King Loki, god of evil.’ He was just tired of  _ being. _ Of existing. Of breathing.

He was tired.

He shifted in discomfort as the silence pressed on and he asked himself why he was even still there. Without a clue as to what exactly he was trying to accomplish or even say, he realized he shouldn’t have come in the first place. He should just leave. Just leave. Where would he go? No one was particularly fond of him, no one really  _ wanted _ him. There wasn’t a place in all the nine realms he could possibly stay. Even for a moment’s rest. Not even Helheim would take him anymore. Everybody knew about him. Heard stories. Knows  _ what he is _ . If he stepped anywhere out of that room, he would be attacked immediately. Arrested perhaps, in the best scenario. At this point, he’d just let them take him. Let them hurt him. 

Let them kill him, even.

There was nowhere he could go. Well, there was the exception of his own pocket dimension he’d created enos ago. It hardly had anything in it. Just a white, blank space dotted with the occasional treasure he snagged and decided to keep. It was lonely. It reminded him of a prison sometimes. The thought made his skin itch.

But he really should just go. There. It would be better.

Thor reached out and placed his hand on Loki’s shoulder with more gentle softness than someone with his build should have, “You can stay, if you wish,” Loki stiffened at the words, and let out a shaky sigh, “You should stay.”

“Why?” the question came out as a low, uneven, maybe desperate hiss. He didn’t mean for it to sound that way. He really should go if he could no longer control himself.

“I can tell you need to.”

Loki hated this. He hated that Thor was  _ right _ . He hated that his oaf of a brother was better at reading him than he was. Most of all, he hated how suddenly vulnerable he felt. Like the time to word his thoughts and feelings was coming, and something  _ awful _ would be soon to follow. That’s how it always seemed to work. Loki would get ready to open his mouth, and some terrible thing would happen. He wouldn’t matter anymore and he’d be left alone with his mind again, or dragged into whatever mess came up. He admittedly wasn’t sure which was worse. Being alone with all of his problems and flaws bubbling underneath his feet, but always unwilling to come up. Or, perhaps, being allowed to forget his trials, but have it all come back in one great big, crushing wave. He decided both of them were situations he doesn’t want to be in or think about, even though both of them were bound to happen again.

The growing warmth in Loki’s shoulder made him gradually realize Thor hadn’t yet removed his hand. Perhaps he was afraid his brother would flee the moment he let go. He always got that feeling with Thor. It always gave him a monochrome of hope, which was always quickly diminished and stomped upon by the ever growing rattling of anxiety that wracked his skull.

“Okay,” Loki all but breathed out.

Thor smiled at him. They sat there, worried and alone, but together. Just like when they were children. Just like when things were better. That inkling of hope returned and flicked inside him, threatening to die off, but still there. Loki took out the small bracelet again, and tossed it to the side of the bed. It wasn’t him. His story was like that. 

And the fragile spark of hope began to grow. 

Who knows? Maybe it will stay this time.

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a contest thing with a list of Disney quotes, and then the one you chose was your inspiration. I think the quote I chose was from Cinderella??? Idk, the title is the quote that was suppose to inspire this piece.


End file.
